


What Christmas Feels Like

by Taybay14



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Tree, Confused Castiel, Family time, First Christmas, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Tree Shopping, Ugly Christmas Sweaters, gabriel wants candy, kevin tran is too smart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 06:26:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5486963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taybay14/pseuds/Taybay14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is for a prompt from my tumblr. (http://destiel-love-forever.tumblr.com/)<br/>The prompt is:<br/>i want a Destiel christmas fic... i want it Cute and fluffy with an adorable clueless about christmas cas (if hes an angel even better) and maybe dean takes cas for a tree?... oh and if there could be a tiny but of gabriel that would be awesome... it doesnt have to be sabriel just have some gabriel around because i miss him damn it!... and maybe a bit of kevin too =]</p>
<p>I wrote a story about Dean teaching Castiel all of the fundamental's of Christmas, and Castiel teaching Dean how Christmas is ACTUALLY supposed to feel/ what it's supposed to be all about. Lots of fluff, some angst in the middle there. Happy ending though. I mean, it is Christmas. That would be mean if it wasn't a happy ending.</p>
<p>Enjoy (:</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Christmas Feels Like

 

They’re surrounded by hundreds of trees. Maybe even a thousand. Dean sips his hot coffee, thankful for the travel coffee cup Castiel bought him last week. Castiel drags him through the snow, not caring about Dean’s complaints. He’s beginning to regret this whole ‘teach Cas about Christmas’ thing. In his head, it would be simple. In reality, it’s been anything but. 

They’ve already looked at three different trees. Dean thought they were all perfect. Castiel disagreed completely. The first was way too short, the second way too tall. And the third. (Wait for it.) Had one broken branch. Just one, very small branch. Practically a twig. Dean made sure to fight extra hard for that tree, but he wasn’t successful. 

Castiel stops in front of a fairly tall tree, with thick green branches. There was a light dusting of snow on the bristles, but he gasped when he looked up at it. “This is the one.”  
He stated, his words slightly muffled by the thick scarf Dean insisted he wear. Dean sighed with relief, ready to call the man in charge over. Just as he turns around to look for the manager, Castiel tugs on his hand. 

“What?” Dean asks, frustrated. Castiel pulls him over to an even taller tree, with fluffier branches. At least, that’s what Castiel claims. It looks exactly the same to Dean. Exactly. 

“This is the one.” Castiel says again, nodding as if he has to convince himself. Then his eyebrows scrunch and Dean sighs. It was starting to snow again, soft snowflakes coating their puffy jackets, and his coffee was running low. 

“I agree. I really like this one.” Dean put on his best smile, trying to think of warm places so he doesn’t shiver. Castiel looks back at him for less than three seconds before tugging his hand once more. Dean grits his teeth, trying not to ruin the experience for his angel. When they stop in front of a new tree, Dean accidently laughs. It’s tree number three. He knows this for a fact, because while Castiel debated whether or not the broken branch mattered he had drawn little designs in the snow with his toe. Which he is standing on right now. Dean clears his throat before Castiel can proclaim, once again, that this is the one. “This one has a broken branch.”

When Castiel sighs and storms off, Dean follows faithfully. The last sip of his coffee lingers in his mouth for a minute before he swallows. For some reason, just knowing the coffee is gone makes his temperature drop a few degrees. He starts shaking as Castiel roams around the various trees, shaking his head at each one. Dean rolls his eyes. This was going to be a long day. 

>>>

After an hour more of searching for a tree, Dean finally convinced Castiel to go back to tree number three. He fixed the broken branch by pulling the broken piece off, making it look just slightly shorter than the other branches. After another five minutes of contemplating, he got Castiel to agree that they could just put that side of the tree against the wall. Dean couldn’t even decide if he was happy about the fact that they finally agreed on a tree, or upset about the fact that they ended up picking the one they saw within the first fifteen minutes of looking. 

“Now what?” Castiel asked excitedly, stepping back and looking at their work. It took them ten minutes to situate the tree in the perfect spot, so that it’s not too close to the fireplace and not too far away from the record player. Dean pictured the massive box of decorations Sam had found in the basement of the bunker, along with all the tangled strings of lights. Inwardly, he groaned. 

“We have to decorate it.” 

Castiel thinks for a moment, his eyebrows scrunched as he looks at the tree. He glances around the area, taking in the throw blankets and picture frames. ‘Decorations’, according to the boys. He moves towards the couch, stealing the plaid blanket thrown over the back of it. Then he steals a coaster from the coffee table, and a record from Dean’s collection. 

Dean clears his throat, covering his mouth with his hand so Castiel doesn’t see his smile. Castiel throws the blanket over the side of the tree, situating it so that it wraps around the front. Then he sticks the coaster in between two branches, letting it balance there. The record is a little harder. It’s too heavy for any of the branches. After a minute of trying, Castiel huffs and takes a step back. He looks sad when he glances at Dean. “I’m not sure how to get this to stay.” Dean’s heart constricts.

“It’s a little heavy man.” Dean thinks about telling Castiel the truth about the tree. The proper way to decorate it. But he doesn’t want to hurt the angel’s feelings. “How about we find some more stuff?” 

And that’s how they end up earning the most confused look from Gabriel when he strolls in, asking if they have any more candy canes. He takes in the sample size bottles of vodka, the small picture frames, a canvas painting of a battlefield, and the Pink Floyd record (duct taped to the branches). He lets out a low whistle, shaking his head. “What the hell is that?”

“Our Christmas tree!” Castiel says excitedly, his bright blue eyes shining. Gabriel chokes on a laugh, but Dean glares at him and shakes his head. The angel catches on, replacing his sarcastic smile with a more genuine one. 

“It’s great.” He tilts his head a little, almost like it would look better if he saw it at a different angle. “Maybe we should add some lights?” Gabriel snaps his fingers, and a string of lights appear on the tree, wrapping around each bizarre decoration. 

“What do you think?” Castiel asks, turning to look at Dean. 

“It’s perfect, Cas.” Dean gives him a smile, but Castiel’s eyebrows stay scrunched up. “I mean it. It’s the best tree I’ve ever had.” Neither of them acknowledge the fact that it’s the only tree Dean has ever had. Castiel knows what he means by it, and it warms his heart. 

“What’s next?” He claps his hands together, his smile turning into a childlike grin. Gabriel throws his head back and laughs. Dean glares at him, before smiling at Castiel again. 

“Good luck with that.” Gabriel whispers as he passes the man, laughing softly. Dean keeps the smile on his face, barely moving his lips when he responds.

“If you leave me here, I will make sure to destroy every last piece of candy in this house.” Gabriel freezes, then turns around and smiles at Castiel. 

“We could bake cookies?” Dean pats Gabriel on the shoulder, nodding. 

“Great idea, Gabe. Let’s do that.”

>>

Three hours later, they have a decorated tree (depending on your definition), a few dozen cookies, a bowl of eggnog, ten presents under the tree (one for everyone coming to dinner), and a turkey in the oven. 

Kevin and Castiel are playing Chess, listening to the most obnoxious Christmas music in the world. Dean slouches down in the empty chair next to the angel, a fairly full glass of scotch in his hand. Castiel side glances at it, his smile slipping a little. “It’s Christmas, Dean. Don’t you think you should-”

“No.” Dean cuts him off, before taking a pull from his drink. “I don’t think I should.” Castiel stays silent for a few moves, before Kevin beats him. The boy excuses himself, saying he needs to go to the bathroom, but they all know he’s just giving them privacy. The minute he’s out of the room, Castiel turns on Dean. 

“You didn’t have fun today.” It’s not a question, but an accusation. 

“I had fun.” Dean takes another drink. “I just don’t really like Christmas.” 

“Why? Christmas is amazing.” Dean laughs. This coming from the angel who just experienced it for the first time. Dean killed himself to make everything perfect and special, but no one ever did that for Dean. No one ever cared enough.

“Christmas, for me, is the definition of disappointment and loneliness.” Dean stands up, taking another drink. He grits his teeth as it burns his throat. 

“I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to be.” Castiel stands too, taking a step towards Dean. “I think, if you gave it a chance, Christmas could make you really happy.”

“What do you know?” Dean scoffs, finishing his glass and slamming it down on the table. Castiel jumps. “Just leave it alone.” He starts to storm off, heading down the hall. 

“Where are you going?” Castiel asks, his voice shaking with fear. Dean always runs, and he hates it every time. 

“Taking a nap.” Usually Dean would ask Castiel to join him, but this time he doesn’t. Castiel just stands there for a moment, wondering if he should go anyway. He slumps down in his seat, wishing he could show Dean what Christmas felt like for him. He knows it’s his first time celebrating the holiday, but his heart was so full today. He wished Dean felt the same. 

>>

They crowd around the fireplace. Dean is tugging at the neck of his sweater, his eyebrows scrunched in anger. He looks over at Sam and frowns. Why does he get to wear a flannel? Dean’s stuck in an ugly sweater that’s itchy as hell. Joe and Ellen smoosh in next to him, pressing the fabric into his arm. He lets out the softest of growls, cursing the holidays. Dean tried telling Castiel that a Christmas card was stupid. They have maybe five people they could send it to, and none of them have permanent addresses. His protests were ignored. Everyone wraps their arms around each other, trying to fit in the small space of the camera. Bobby is squatting down, trying to see the screen of the camera that is set up on the tripod. 

“Hold still, you idjits!” He yells at them, trying to figure out how to fit everyone in. He tells Castiel to wrap around, moving to Dean’s side instead of next to Charlie. Castiel goes happily as Dean rolls his eyes. Bobby ships it, hard. Castiel wraps his arm around Dean’s waist, and all of a sudden his sweater isn’t itchy anymore. 

“Thank you.” Dean whispers, assuming Castiel used his grace to take away the discomfort. When Castiel looks at him questioningly, Dean realizes the itchiness is there. Castiel just took his mind off of it for a second. Before he can ponder the new development in his confusing ass love life, Bobby decides that the camera is in the perfect position. 

“Five seconds!” He yells. He practically jumps into the center of the group, getting down on his knees. He grunts in pain and Joe makes a snarky comment about how old he is. They’re all smiling when the camera flashes. Not one of them has a weight on their chest. Not one of them is plagued with darkness. Not here. Not in this moment. Dean feels a knot in his throat, trying to swallow around it. The group slowly untangles, giving him room to breathe. Castiel doesn’t move though. 

“This feeling? Right now?” Castiel whispers, squeezing Dean’s hand. “I think that’s Christmas.”


End file.
